i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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