is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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