I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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