sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
