K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
