I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
