shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
