it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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