How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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