Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
