So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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