Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
