Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize