Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
