Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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