someone get that fucking seahorse.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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