I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
