They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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