His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
