Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
