its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
