I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
