i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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