everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize