just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
