So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
