I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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