Where did you get a picture of my penis
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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