dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
