remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
