when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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