Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
