you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
