well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
