well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
