Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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