Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
