How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
