$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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