my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
