i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
being pregnant is like rehab
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
