i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
