why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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