Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
only if we run a train.
done.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
