He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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