According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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