Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
