Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
