I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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