I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she told me i tasted like america
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
