man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
