New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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