I'm drive I can fine osifer
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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