yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
