Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
NoShamevember. You game?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
