so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
