If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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