My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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