Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
