We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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