butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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