I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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