I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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