I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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