Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
