I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
