Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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