Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
