4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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