people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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