I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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