We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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