We're facebook friends in real life
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
