Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sorry about my life...
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
