We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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