turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
