i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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