How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize