Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
