I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize