If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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