I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
