I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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