Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have aggressive nipples.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
